pete foster

the wind is blowing and there is a chunk of my heart or even soul that howls. Master Wolf, Pete has passed from this world into the next. I am left behind. Nothing can ever add or be changed about the feelings I have for Pete. He holds a special place in my heart. He changed my life. Isn't that was it is all about? My heart is heavy and my day will be spent in memories of him, which will include music, a song he sang, and food.

Talking to the Lord

In the car on the way home. J is driving we are both exhausted...left over from the virus that has found us. We sit in traffic the light is red.
J: chance god damn it I am tired and want to go home
the light changes.
M: impressive pray technique, he responded well.
J: yes direct and to the point.
M: I suppose it is better than beg and plead.
J: would you respond to that?
M: no you are right I would not nor would I to whine and shout.
J: I don't think God listens to that.
M: well at least he shouldn't sort of teaches beings that attitude gets a response.

deaths

This year starts with death. A life long friend, Beverly passes away and providence is the only way I learn of the passing. The world is colder and there is an emptiness.
Aunt Helen will soon move to the other dimension. And there is a heaviness that sits on my shelf and stares back at me. Once again beckoning the question what is it all about. It doesn't seem to help to reason that it was disease that got Jane this last summer or Beverly was just tired having spent her life caring for everyone else. I can console myself now she will be cared for in a way that we earthly beings could not do. And Helen well she is old 90 something. Still there is no joy in the passing of loved ones. Death holds no sweetness.

Stupidity

Lawsuit Over Brokeback Mountain in Class

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,271935,00.html

I read this article and I am still shaking my head. 12 year tramatized from the movie. I think about all them movies that are out, the violence the language and then I shake my head... I am tramatized by the Lord of the rings and all the killing, House all the surgery. Okay maybe the teacher was wrong showing the movie. But really what world does this child live in. There are worse things than depicting a homosexual relationship. Makes me wonder?

frightening

Easter the worlds largest holiday. The faithful come out in droves and make resitution for 364 days of sinning. They preform great feats of suffering to show themselves worthy. Holy Holy Holy
yet if you are not with them you are against them I have been out of the loop of group worship. I am keenly aware that this is the time of the christian masses. They are every where praying in the resturant, in the hall, at the football game. I often wonder what they want. It is frightening.

tinkerbell

She will survive if enough people believe in fairies. Hmm? Back to faith. My five year old friend just came back from disneyland and with great conviction said "You know what? Tinkerbell is real."
So now I believe.

This is the season of lent, a time of reflection. Jesus or Tinkerbell?
She did save his life, by drinking a cup of posion meant for him. One point for Tink.

faith

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Am working on a chapter on faith. That unseen force that we tend rely on far too much. What ever happened to reality that which you can taste, see, touch, hear and smell?